


Looking at each other

by lil_runaway



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Confession, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), M/M, Mutual Pining, Near Death, Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Spoilers, Stream of Consciousness, before execution, mentions of dying, tros
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:54:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22259032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_runaway/pseuds/lil_runaway
Summary: Caught on board the First Order ship, Finn and Poe are walking down to be executed by stormtroopers under the eye of General Hux. On the way, Poe thinks about his life and how he never told Finn how he felt about him. And it hurts, oh, it hurts.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 10
Kudos: 147





	Looking at each other

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I bring you another FinnPoe oneshot, this time inspired by sapphicxrey tweet quote "the last thing they wanted to see was each other"  
> Mind I saw IX once and I don't remember this scene perfectly so this is really my free interpretation and recollection of it.  
> Also I chose to ignore the fact that Finn only woke up from coma in TLJ because reasons. 
> 
> Before you read, I want you to know that there is a fantastic idea of Fundraiser in the name of Finnpoe fandom for the Trevor Project. You can check it out under this link. Donate if you can, share it to the world!  
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/finnpoes-for-lgbtq?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link-tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet

_So, this is it then_ , Poe thinks, as storm troopers drag him and Finn for execution. His arm is bleeding and hurts like hell, adrenaline left him some time ago. _So this is it then. After all those years, this is is how I die,_ he thinks and realizes in the same moment, that he isn’t even scared. He’s disappointed. 

He always thought he would die in the sky, in a spectacular explosion, with his black helmet on and hands on steering rack. He was ready to become one with the void of space, a lone hero who gave his life to a great cause. He never imagined he would be shot in the head, in the backroom, right next to someone he truly l- 

He looks at Finn, oh heavens, he’s terrified. Suddenly it hits him - Finn will die from hands of his abusers. Poe wants to scream, this isn’t right, this is not how it was supposed to be. They weren’t supposed to get caught, get pushed to their knees on the cold, cold ground. Poe knows he cannot die now, not before everything is sorted out. He realizes he never told Finn how he felt. And it’s too late now. But maybe it doesn’t matter anymore. 

_Rey, I wanted to tell you something._

_What was it, Finn?_ , Poe thinks. _What were you gonna tell her?_

He might never know. But maybe it doesn’t matter anymore. 

There is a moment when they are walking along the corridors, escorted by troopers and General Hux himself, when Poe feels panic rising inside his chest. _This is it,_ he thinks. _This is it._ There’s a feeling of emptiness that appears in his stomach, cold sweat on his back. He focuses on moving his legs, but he can’t shake the feeling of inevitability of what comes next. 

He is a pilot, the best in the galaxy, and it takes a lot of guts to sit in the tiny cockpit of an X-Wing, raging into battles. He wouldn’t be able to count up times he was one step away from leaving this world. For a best pilot, he sure crushed a lot of ships. But somehow, there was always someone to save him - either BB-8 or his Black Squadron, or good people he met on the way. But the sheer feeling that every step now brings him closer to an end and there is no such miracle in this galaxy to save them now - it’s terrifying. He’s terrified. 

He hears Chewie’s miserable growl. He must feel it too. 

On their way, they stop for guards to change. Execution squad. Poe tries to swallow, but his mouth is dry. 

Suddenly a strange thought enters his mind. 

_Don’t be afraid_. 

And this isn’t Poe’s thought. He turns his head and looks at Finn. Finn sends him a cracked smile. 

_Don’t be afraid._

“Finn-,” he starts but the sound makes one of the stormtroopers turn around and hit him in the stomach with the back of their rifle. 

“Quiet, rebel scum!,” he shouts and Poe bends in half. It hurts, the emptiness inside him hurts. He thinks he’s gonna be sick. 

_Don’t be afraid. Don’t be afraid._ The thought is coming back to him and it’s his own thought now. But Finn started it. Finn planted this thought in his mind, as he couldn’t pat his back or grab his shoulder or hug him. 

Couldn’t be. Is he- 

_The Force. It’s all around us._ He remembers the words.

Then they continue to march.

He has to tell him. Finn must know how absolutely and utterly Poe is in love with him. 

From the time Poe saw him taking that white helmet off, through crashing on Jakku, sharing room in D’Qar base, helping him to adapt, through evacuation and when he was so worried Finn might not come back from Canto Bight. 

He loved how Finn looked at the worlds he has never seen, eyes bright and filled with fascination. He loved how he ran into the water when for the first time he saw an ocean. He loved every banter, every argument, every laugh they had together. Every tight-hug-pat-on-the-back-grab-of-the-shoulder (Finn would always grab his shoulder and turn him around when he knew there was going to be dangerous and _every_ mission was dangerous.) 

He loved the nights when they shared a bunk on Falcon, when Finn would sleep so close to him and Poe was _dying_ to pull him closer and his every breath was sending shivers down his spine. He loved every parsec they spend together in the cockpit, talking or even silently staring at the void ahead of them. 

Poe Dameron could have been the bravest, most reckless pilot in the Resistance, yet he couldn’t bring himself to tell Finn he loves him. Even when they’d hold hands, he would say to himself: _we’re friends, we’re friends._ Even when they’d hug. Even when he almost kissed him that one time and- 

oh 

Oh

Was Finn-? 

Is he-? 

They enter the room. Stormtroopers force them on their knees. Everything hurts. The floor is hard and cold, and Poe is no longer afraid. He hears the blasters loading, ready to fire. 

_So this is it, then?_ , he thinks. 

He looks at Finn and meets his eyes. The last thing they wanted to see was each other. Poe can feel his eyes watering and is so close to whispering _I love you,_ but his throat tightens and the fear comes back. 

They overhear General Hux talking to troopers but they can’t no longer comprehend sounds. They’re trying to remember their faces. 

Faces tired of war, dirty and soiled with blood, yet their gaze full of love and regret that this is everything they had. The eyes they used to look at when sharing bunks, the eyes so bright ever since they met, the eyes kinda hazy when they almost kissed that one time. 

Suddenly Poe realizes he knows. And is sure as hell Finn knows too. He wants to smile but he can’t. They hear the trigger clicking. 

Then there are shots. 

And then they don’t die.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading this little thing! Feel free to like or maybe leave a comment? If you enjoyed it, check out my other finnpoe fic Laying in the Dark :)  
> see you next time! 
> 
> oh and don't forget check the link!  
> https://www.gofundme.com/f/finnpoes-for-lgbtq?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link-tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet


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